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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24722848">and even after all this time (i'm still into you)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/howdothestarslook/pseuds/howdothestarslook'>howdothestarslook</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Beverly Marsh &amp; Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Boys In Love, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Friends to Lovers, Gay Richie Tozier, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, No Myra Kaspbrak, Not Beta Read, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Mess, they're in their 20s</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:40:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,186</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24722848</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/howdothestarslook/pseuds/howdothestarslook</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>'He feels childish almost, being this boy crazy still especially over this boy, well man, he's a grown man even if his stupid comforting but stupid laugh and warm eyes and whatever the fuck stayed the same. It's still Eddie. It always has been Eddie.'</p><p>or Richie finally admits his feelings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, benverly is hardly even mentioned and is sort of irrelevant here</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>and even after all this time (i'm still into you)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW/CW: mentions of vomit/feeling sick but no one is actually sick. this is my first fic I'm sorry if it's shitty lmao. any feedback is welcomed. title from Paramore's, still into you. &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie's scared, so so scared and shaking as he chugs down his third coffee in the last hour, but perhaps the shaking is the caffeine dancing around his body. It doesn't matter.  He doesn't have time to think of that. Not right now, anyway.  He feels childish almost, being this boy crazy still especially over this boy, well man, he's a grown man even if his stupid comforting but stupid laugh and warm eyes and whatever the fuck stayed the same.  It's still Eddie. It always has been Eddie.</p><p>"Bev help me out here, I'm going to die." and Bev laughs, shaking her head as if this is the time to laugh when he's panicking about being in love with Eddie for what could be the hundredth time in his life. He really should've accepted it from the first time he got called the f slur or the first time Eddie looked at him with that look the way he does, or no, it should've been the first time Richie saw Eddie in those stupid fucking red shorts. Either way, he's loved Eddie forever. </p><p>Somehow he still hasn't learnt a way to tell Eddie how much he loves him and despite how often Richie does have a drink in his hand that should make him called Eddie and tell him everything that runs through his mind on a daily schedule, he never has. </p><p>"you are not going to die rich, don't be an idiot." Bev shakes her head again and looks down at her phone with a smile as it buzzes for what feels like the thousandth time this hour.  How was it so easy for her and Ben? Why can't it be that simple for Richie?</p><p>"No no I think I might die, Bev, I'm in love with him, and he's what, he's living his life, I don't know what to do." Richie's voice is chaotic, way too fucking frantic, and he's on his feet suddenly pacing the room uncontrollably. If it isn't Richie's voice that's going to drive bev insane, it'll be the sound of him walking up and down endlessly. "he must think you're just living your life too" Bev looks at him with that smile. 'Smartass' Richie thinks, laughing a little to himself. She knows it too she's the biggest smartass there is. </p><p>"But I'm not that's the thing, I'm spending every second my brain is functioning thinking about him. He's in every single dream Bev. Every single one." He could cry, or be sick, or both. Either way, his stomach is turning like it's a washing machine on its final spin, and he hates every single second of it.  "He's probably out dating, god, he's probably straight." that's something Richie didn't even remember to think about, he's quickly back to panicking again. He lets out a string of expletives rubbing his sweaty forehead with his sleeve. He does need to be sick. </p><p>'All things considered' he thinks 'if Eddie is gay, he kept that one quiet' he smiles to himself before he's swirled back into a panic. A thought about Eddie being gay and not liking him specifically attacking him viciously. </p><p>"You need to tell him, Rich, he's not a mind reader, and neither are you, you could both be thinking the same thing." she makes a good point but, Richie's panicking at this point, the caffeine is not helping with that either. Along with the fact, Eddie loving him isn't something that makes sense to Richie's brain anymore. Fuck. Why did he have to fall in love with the best person ever placed in his life? It feels nearly self-explanatory when he puts it like that. He feels stupid, immediately.</p><p>"Or, we're thinking polar opposite things" Richie's voice is less frantic this time, which would be comforting if it wasn't so full of frustration. He's so lucky to have Bev. Nobody else would put up with this shit.</p><p>"And in that case, we both know Eddie is polite enough to keep being friends rich." Bev looks up at him this time she's got this look that melts into his skin with 'stop being an idiot'. He'd love to do that he would. Though both of them know he's incapable, they both know, he'll run his mouth until somebody stops him. One way or another, a beep beep or a punch in the jaw, whatever's on the menu. Either way, lord knows he can't stop himself. </p><p>"I don't think-" he sighs, rubbing his face over with his hands. He continues "I don't know if I could cope being friends" he feels like crying as soon as he says it. He doesn't want to lose Eddie ever in his lifetime. Nothing is worth losing Eddie over he knows that much. He feels the words burn into his brain, repeating what he said back to him. Where is the fucking undo button on his life?</p><p>"Rich, you've done it for what, 15 years or something? You'll learn to cope. You're never losing Eddie, don't be an idiot." Bev's voice is a little more constricting when she speaks this time, and he thinks he's starting to come round from the caffeine because she's starting to make sense a little.  Never entirely, but that could be to do with his lovesick brain as much as it could be the caffeine. He crashes back onto the couch, running a hand through his hair, it feels like his chest caves in when he feels his heart in his throat. And it feels like he's an idiot when he starts to cry.</p><p>"Rich, come here." he covers his eyes with his hands pushing off his glasses. He rubs his eyes like a coin on a scratchcard, almost viciously. And when he sits up, he feels Bev's arms around him immediately. She stands after a moment pulling him up by his wrist. </p><p>"C'mon, you're gonna go tell Eddie spaghetti you love him." and she drags him out the door like a child refusing to go to school, shaking and crying.</p><p>...</p><p>He'll admit, this feels exactly how he thought it might. Looking back at Bev with as close to not puffy eyes as he could get in one car journey before pressing the doorbell in the most overwhelmed he's felt in a long time since his first-ever gig, scratch that actually. Since the first time, Eddie talked to him. That's immediately more fitting.</p><p>And when Eddie answers in his pyjamas, god fucking knows Richie is gone. Consumed by all that Eddie is. </p><p>"Rich, fuck, hi! Do you want to come in? Did you text? I don't think I got a text." Eddie is wide-eyed and almost as frantic as Richie thirty minutes ago when he notices it's Richie standing at his door. </p><p>"uh yeah, okay then, no no I didn't text." Richie agrees, and the second the door is closed he knows bev is already getting in the car and driving off. </p><p>"Do you want anything to drink?" Eddie offers, polite as always. Richie sits almost suspiciously carefully on the couch. He would jump up on the kitchen counter and sit there, but he knows Eddie would have his head on a stick quicker than he could even start to apologise.</p><p>"Oh uh, no it's all good." Richie is trying desperately, pleading with Aphrodite or whoever the fuck it is to keep calm. How is he supposed to keep his cool with Eddie sitting there with his messy hair and short shorts? Fuck.</p><p>"Right uh, wanna watch a film? I was just about to put something on I hadn't picked anything out yet." Eddie picks up the remote flicking through Netflix aimlessly. Everything feels so irrelevant though when all Richie can think of is how they sit so close to each other. Legs pushed up together like an overcrowded train on the underground.  </p><p>"Yeah uh definitely." Richie agrees like an idiot because he is an idiot. An infatuated unfiltered idiot. That's not helped when Eddie pulls his legs over the top of Richie's as he lays down across the sofa. Then Richie's sat there rubbing at Eddie's ankle like a freak, but Eddie doesn't seem to begin to care. He smiles at him like he's lovesick too. That smile could warm Richie through the most baltic winters there are no two ways about it. </p><p>"I uh, I came here to tell you something" is what Richie says when he gains a surprising amount of confidence, still rubbing Eddie's ankle with his thumb in small circles.</p><p>"Oh yeah? What's that?" Eddie sits up this time, drawing his legs away to cross them. His hands fall into his lap, and it gives Richie an unprecedented amount of happiness seeing, Eddie sit like that. He needs to stop looking at his legs. It's bordering on creepy, not that Eddie seems to care or notice for that matter. </p><p>"Fuck eds I'm scared" Richie's leg starts bouncing, and he knows his voice is going to start to break if he doesn't talk soon.</p><p>"Rich it's just me, you've no reason to be scared. You could tell me you loved me and I still wouldn't be weird with you." and Richie is sure Aphrodite is laughing at him now. His voice catches in his throat he can feel the tears in his eyes but come hell or high water he's not letting them out.</p><p>"Yeah, about that." he huffs out a laugh before he sighs. His eyes flick up to Eddie's this time, and he feels like a child. Like the first-ever time, he saw those gorgeous fucking eyes. He could throw up with the way his stomach is swirling around like a washing machine.</p><p><br/>
"I- uh, I'm in love with you Eds and I'm sorry, I'm so so so sorry, I didn't mean to do it, it just happened and-" Richie's voice is predictably rushed and anxious, and the only thing that stops him is Eddie. Eddie and his smooth, warm like wax voice ready to be poured directly into Richie's heart right from the very first sound.</p><p>"Hey, c' mere, slow down" he opens he arms similar to how bev did, and Richie pushes himself into them his head falling softly against Eddie's chest. Tears fall from his eyes, guess hell and high water came and went.</p><p>"you wanna know something rich?" Eddie has a smirk across his face Richie doesn't even need to look he can hear it. He's about to get crushed into pieces from the only man he's ever loved. And Eddie's smirking as if something was fucking funny about Richie being real and honest for once.</p><p>"Yeah, go on then." Richie pushes himself up to scan Eddie's face he does have a little smirk on his lips, less than he had expected it to be though. Eddie scoots closer putting his arms around Richie's shoulders he's practically on top of Richie at this point.</p><p>Then Eddie's rushing forward and putting his lips on Richie's and he feels like he's on fire. Like he's never seen a day where the sun hid behind the clouds, and he almost forgets to kiss back in the small moment that Eddie kisses him. </p><p>"I love you too 'chee." Eddie smiles at him, that goddamned smile. "so much." and then Richie realises, this is a dream. </p><p>"I've had this dream before," Richie laughs, and Eddie laughs with him shaking his head.</p><p>"you're an idiot trashmouth." and when Eddie pushes his hands up into his hair and kisses the smile off of his lips, he doesn't know what to do with himself. If it wasn't for the fact they're super fucking gay, and that it's not Christmas he would compare it to those movies. </p><p>"I know I'm an angel" Eddie laughs pushing a strand of Richie's hair out of his eyes. "but I can promise you, this is real life."  </p><p>"you're everything," Richie admits as he pushes Eddie further into his lap, kissing him harder. </p><p>"shut up." and Richie couldn't be fucking happier shutting up. He's kissing his lifelong crush like he's never kissed anybody before and he's underneath him and god. He's so so in love with the man on top of him. He simply will never accept that his love for men is corrupt ever again, not when it feels perfect like this. Like everything, he's waited forever to find. </p><p>"Does this mean you're my Eddie spaghetti now?" he keeps a hold of Eddie's hips pushing him in closer as Eddie's mouth finds it's way down his neck. </p><p>"If you want me, then I'm all yours baby" Eddie's voice is distracted, and Richie is sure that's the best and worst one-liner he's ever heard. He's so lucky he's in love, otherwise, he would've up and left from that one. </p><p>"I love you." Richie lets out a pleased breath. "Fuck, I love you so much Eds, I've loved you forever."</p><p>"I love you more," Eddie tells him, pushing a kiss to his lips. And Richie wants to cry, so he does. He's finally found his home in Eddie where he knew it was, all along.</p>
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